Unknowing, I Sink now in audio from Beacon Audiobooks
Yes, it’s true. Ingesting the bubbling ooze that is this book through the sieves of one’s pupils was not enough. People clamored for me to let them pour it, warm and slimy, down their ear canals. The people have spoken!
Free Audible code giveaway contest
"Did he say free?"
Not into the whole paying an author for their work thing, huh? Just kidding, I get it. I can’t buy half the books I wish (I also can’t read half the books I buy, so maybe that’s a good thing).
Don’t sweat it; I got you covered. Well, one of you, anyway. For one week, I’m running a FREE GIVEAWAY contest for an Audible code that will let you infect your own personal device with my strange little monster. IMPORTANT NOTE to my email subscribers: this contest is in addition to the one I announced earlier this week—and yes, YOU CAN ENTER IT TOO! Read and follow the following steps carefully to be sure you’re entered.
How does it work? Here’s all you have to do:
SHARE THIS BLOG POST on your favorite social media (really, any of them). And don’t forget to tag me and say nice things… (Whether or not you tag me will not affect your chances of winning. I just like it when people say my name. I’m vain like that.) NOTE FOR EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS WHO HAVE ENTERED THE OTHER CONTEST: Just post to a different social media platform than you used previously, and follow the rest of the steps as normal. It might be helpful to add a note in the email reminding me to add you to this giveaway list as well.
TAKE A SCREENSHOT of the social media post. This will be different based on your device and OS, so if you’re not sure how to do this, just google "how to take a screenshot" + your device or OS (example: "how to take a screenshot samsung galaxy" or "how to take a screenshot windows 95" and for anyone actually still using Win95, I salute you. And maybe after all these years you can afford to upgrade to 98SE?)
EMAIL THE SCREENSHOT TO ME at email@example.com. This step is as critical as the rest, if not more so, and I think it is worth emphasizing. You can tag me all you want and post a video of yourself jumping up and down screaming my name, but it won’t matter if I don’t get the email. I am 31 years old, so I actually do read emails. Why can’t we all just ditch Facebook and Twitter and email each other again like we all did in the early 00s? I wonder if my hotmail account is still active…
WAIT. I will give it a week from today (which means if you email me next Wednesday, it will be too late). I will compile a list of names in this giveaway (separate from the previously mentioned giveaway, you email list folks know what I’m talking about) and let the magic of computers randomly choose a winner. If I can’t figure this out, I’ll print out the names, cut them up, and shake them up in a hat. I think I can figure it out, though. Whoever wins, I will email them back privately and make sure they receive the Audible code.
Now, subscribers to my email newsletter have the advantage in that they can enter this twice. "Boo, not fair!" you cry. Actually, it is completely fair. Because subscribing to my email newsletter is free, and nobody’s stopping you from doing it and getting your second contest entry. JUST CLICK HERE to sign up then go through all these steps already outlined, and in your emails be sure to say that one is for the email subscriber contest and the other is for my website contest. Again, you’ll need to make and screenshot two different social media posts to get entries for both. And the winner of the email contest, just so everyone knows, will be removed from the website contest so that I don’t have the same person winning twice.
If that sounds too complicated… Well you can pay a small fee and have the audiobook delivered to your computer, guaranteed delivery, no randomization, no emails, no screenshots, no waiting around! (See again buying it on Audible and the rest.)
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